Chicken Soup
by witchofdanight1316
Summary: I just wanted to be beautiful... Can Bebe save Wendy from a diet gone bad?   May turn into a romance later. Bendy Anorexia and Bullimia. Eating disorders
1. Skip the Fries

Chicken Soup

"So _why _did you and Stan break up again?" Red peered up at me, gaping like a fish as I munched on a French fry.

"We were both finding reasons to not spend time together. We're just not into each other anymore, I guess."

"_I heard_ that Stan's gay for Kyle and that's why he left you," Millie said, grinning like the bitchy Cheshire cat that she was. I shrugged, not completely sure but knowing it was probably right. One of our main arguments was that Stan spent too much time with Kyle, and I spent too much time with Bebe.

"I don't know. He's not my concern anyway; boys are stupid." I took a sip of my chocolate milk, disconcertingly. Bebe, who was sitting beside me, craned her neck behind us.

"Uh, Wendy…" I followed her glance to the back of the cafeteria, where Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny were standing in the lunch line, Kenny laughing and making a face at Cartman and Cartman was glaring at him.

Stan had his arm around Kyle's waist.

"Ooooh, Wendy, looks like I was right," Millie purred, but I just continued to stare.

Stan never held me like that.

"Wendy, it's not your fault if he's gay…" Bebe said, rubbing my shoulder in comfort. I didn't know what to say.

"Looks like you're gonna be going back into the dating pool again, Wendy. You might want to slow down on the fries. You don't want to get fatter, do you?" Red nodded towards my lunch tray.

I looked down at the plate of fries.

"Fatter?"

"You know you've gained a little weight since you and Stan got together, right?" Millie chipped in.

Powder looked up at her with what seemed like an angry expression.

I pushed my plate away. Maybe going on a diet or something wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Bebe stood up, grabbing her lunch tray.

"Here, I'll bring yours up too," she said, holding her hand out. I looked down at my tray, and handed it over to her.

"Sure, thanks Bebe." She smiled at me before walking off to go dump the tray.

Red barked a quiet laugh, before getting up with her tray as well.

"What's Red's problem?" I asked, annoyed; Red and I never got along too well.

Powder shrugged.

"It's not really my business to say," she replied, looking down and pushing around her food on her tray. Powder never seemed to eat much, and she was always really thin…

"Okay…" I said.

Maybe going on a diet or something wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Later on at home, I stripped down and looked at myself in the mirror. I needed to see what the girls were talking about.

Millie was right; I was huge. How did I not notice that before? I was flat out disgusting. I thought back to Kyle and Stan, and how tiny Kyle happened to be.

Did he break up with me because I was fat? He couldn't have done it because of that, could he?

I decided that I was going to lose the weight. I was going to make myself beautiful and make Stan come crawling back to me.

But how was I going to pull this off?

~TBC

A/N: And so begins the slippery slope… I don't know if this will be triggering, but just to be safe… Warning, it might be. I'm hoping this will help me come to terms with my own weight control issues, but I don't know if I will do this kind of thing justice. If anyone wants to input some of their struggles with an eating disorder that they would like to add into this story, PM me and tell me, I'll add as many as I can that fit.

R&R,

Mariah


	2. Chicken Salad

Chicken Soup

Chapter 2: Chicken Salad

March 14

Current weight: 140lbs

So far, I have been completely devoted to sticking to this diet for two whole weeks. Every morning I have a grapefruit for breakfast, and a salad for lunch, and whatever my mom cooks up for dinner. I try to avoid toppings and extra stuff, so I think I'm doing great. Sometimes I'm hungry but it's worth it. I walk my dog a lot more and Daisy's sure happy over that.

But today I sat at lunch, my chicken salad in front of me, and Bebe, Millie and Red walked in, falling over laughing about something. Bebe was beautiful; everyone always thought so. She couldn't have been more than 110 pounds. But no matter how many guys approached her, she shot them all down. Always. She had a short fling with Kyle ONCE, but never again since. Some of us wonder if she is playing hard to get or something, but she never talks about it.

I looked down at my salad. Once upon a time Bebe and I were the queens of the school. But then I got fat. I didn't deserve to be anywhere near Bebe.

I picked at my salad, almost disgusted with myself. I was bound and determined to lose the weight no matter what.

"Is this seat taken?" My eyes followed the sound of the voice; Powder stood above me, smiling shyly. I shook my head and motioned for her to take a seat. She lowered herself silently into the chair with her chicken salad and bottle of apple juice. I wondered whether or not she was naturally that skinny, or if eating that way was the trick. She daintily picked up her fork. I wanted to be skinny like Powder.

"I see you're eating healthier," she said, glancing down at my tray. I nodded.

"I really want to lose weight. Red was right; I'm fat." She paused, fork full of lettuce in mid air, before slowly returning it to her plate.

"Listen Wendy, I know this may seem like a big deal, but be careful. It's really easy for something like this to spin out of control."

"What? C'mon Powder, you really don't think I'm going to mess this up, do you?"

"I just know things can go crazy if you're not careful; so just be careful, okay Wendy?"

I nodded, but I was too weirded out to actually take her seriously. What was she talking about? Maybe she just didn't want me to be as thin as her…

Yeah, she probably did.

We ate silently, and I made sure I ate less than her, which wasn't easy because she barely ate at all. This was a competition now. I wanted to be thinner than all the other girls. I wanted them to be envious of me.

I regretted eating so little though, because when I got home, I was ravenous. I couldn't concentrate on anything at all. All afternoon all I could do was pace back and forth in front of the kitchen, knowing I wanted to eat but wanting to hold out until dinner. The one reason most diets fail is because of self control.

By the time dinner rolled around, I was ready to eat the kitchen table. I piled my plate with pasta, and steak, and vegetables, and mashed potatoes, and butter and just consumed. I sucked it all in without thinking, I was so hungry.

"Wow kiddo, can you even taste that?" My stepfather joked. I didn't look up.

"Lunch sucked. Really hungry," I muffled, still eating.

"Didn't you say you were trying to lose some weight, dear?" My mom asked. I froze.

My weight loss….

Oh, no. I ruined it.

I stopped eating, fear welling up in my chest. Discomfort started to glow in my stomach. It was going to take a lot to undo this damage.

I sat at the table for a short amount of time longer before asking to be excused. Once I was free I ran down to the basement and got onto my mom's elliptical machine and started exercising.

I couldn't undo all the progress I had made in those two weeks.

TBC

It's been hard for me to update due to a lot of school crap. I absolutely hate my English teacher because she keeps trying to make my writing style look like hers. Its freaking annoying. But anyway, Next one coming soon I hope, so stay posted. Oh, and if anyone wants me to add some experiences that they've had from their disorder, PM or review me the story and I'll try to add it in.

Thanks!

Mariah


	3. Chips & Soda

Chapter 3: Chips & Soda

April 23,

Current weight: 129lbs

It's getting harder and harder to stick to this diet of mine. I feel like it's better to stay away from food all together then to eat and risk binging.

Binging is a new word I learned on the internet.

I've started thinking about food constantly; though I do everything I can to avoid the thought. It's maddening.

My friends have started to become concerned, because I eat almost nothing for lunch now. I can't stand eating in front of them now. I get too nervous and just can't. I'm not sure when this started, but I just noticed the behavior myself.

Powder, who usually avoid lunch most days of the week to go to the library or to leave campus was sitting at our table more often, staring at me and scooping some of her food onto my plate. It was pissing me off, but instead of saying anything I just ignore the excess food.

Red continues to push me, telling me how great I look and for me to tell her my secret. Powder glared at me every time I answered her.

"Just don't eat." I would laugh. I don't think she realized I was serious.

"Wendy! Token's having a party at his house Saturday night! We should go." Millie shoved a purple piece of paper in my face. It had the address and BYOB written in big black letters.

I don't know…."

"Wendy, Token's totally into you. You need to go."

I contemplated it. I didn't want to be noticed until I finished my weight loss. I was almost embarrassed to be seen beforehand. But Millie and the others insisted I'd go.

So that's how I ended up at Token's house Saturday night in a dress I fit into but was not comfortable in and avoiding the snack table as much as I could.

Red and Millie were pushing me towards Token, but Bebe wasn't letting me out of her sight. I guess she may have been worried that I would get into some kind of trouble, though I couldn't imagine what I could possibly do while I was trying to stay invisible.

_I shouldn't be here. I'm the fattest one here. I shouldn't be here. I need to leave. This is horrible._

"Hey Wendy, you look great." Token surprised me from behind, two drinks in hand and smiling with that flawless smile.

"Thanks." I said, smiling back. "Great party tonight."

"Ha, thanks. I'm afraid Craig and Kenny are going to do something crazy to my hot tub though. I heard them say something about jell-o…."

"Oh wow, Kenny is totally crazy."

"I honestly think its Craig who's the mastermind, and Kenny is his cover up." He chuckled to himself before looking down at his occupied hands. He held out one of the cups to be.

"Oh, this is for you. You like Dr. Pepper, right?"

Soda. Crap. I didn't drink soda anymore. But this was _Token Black; _I couldn't turn him down, could I?

But I couldn't drink it. No way in hell would that sludge get into my body. I'm better then that.

"Yeah, totally, thanks." He smiled and opened his mouth to speak again when a scream echoed through the enormous mansion.

"Someone filled the hot tub with green jell-o!" Token's smile fell instantly.

"God damn it. I'll be right back. Token gave me another million dollar smile before athletically jogging out onto the patio behind the kitchen. I heard him yelling instantly.

"MCKORMICK!"

Plant pots crashed, and Kenny's yelling, "I thought you liked jell-o!"

I looked down at the soda in my hand. Liquid poison; I didn't want anything to do with it. But I didn't want Token to see me get rid of it.

I searched for another elaborate plant of Mrs. Black's, and dumped the soda in, and I danced for the rest of the night to try and clear the voice inside my head.

_Never touch that shit again. _


End file.
